I’m sick of WWIII when I talk money with my honey
Managing money as a couple can be both practical and enjoyable when approached with a lighthearted attitude. It can also be the worst most dreaded thing in peoples relationships. There are practical ways to manage money in a household. From a purely practical standpoint there are three ways to do money with your honey (and no I will not apologize for this rhyme).
You can put it all together. Simple, not easy. This absolutely makes sense when one person is making all the money and one person is adding value in ways that do not create a monetary contribution. It’s the simplest way to have transparency and you made the decision for a partner to contribute in non monetary ways, therefore, it’s really your best option. I think personally, with my bias, it’s the best way to move forward in unison as a couple. When there is one pot, you know how much you have, you know how much you spend, everyone can contribute to the mental load of managing the money you have. The second option is an assignment of what each person in the family pays for, so you have completely separate bank accounts and only collaborate on money in an abstract way. This might be positive for people who earn relatively the same amount of money and feel comfortable having discussion about money on paper but maintain privacy from seeing within the others bank account. The third, probably most compromised options is the idea you have three accounts. The way this would work is that one is a large account, it covers all fixed needs, such as housing, childcare, transportation, groceries, things like that. It’s probably 75% of the money you make, and each person contributes a percentage to that large joint account. The percentage you contribute may be the percentage of combined income minus expenses/savings goals, which is why I assumed 75%, for example, someone makes 30 someone makes 70, you make 100, and your savings goals/retirement/fixed needs equal out to 75K, that’s 75% of your income. Then you’d have two smaller seperate accounts for each person to do what they please. This means that everyone is afforded autonomy, but the overall bills are taken care of in a way where every one is in agreement.
Then there is the whole idea of having FUN with managing money together:
Create a Financial Date Night: Schedule regular "financial date nights" where you discuss your financial goals, review your budget, and make plans for savings or investments. Make it fun by ordering takeout, playing some background music, or even dressing up a bit to make it feel special. My husband and I have a goal this year to review our money/budget/savings on our anniversary, which falls after tax time. We plan to get a hotel ditch our kids and really reflect on the work we’ve done and the goals we have, it’s when we see if there is anything left over we want to allocate to 529’s, paying off debt, or an overseas vacation.
Set Savings Goals with Rewards: Create savings goals together, such as for a vacation, home improvement project, or a special treat. Decide on a reward you both look forward to once you achieve the goal, like a weekend getaway or a nice dinner out.
Use a Money Management App: Choose a money management app that allows you both to track expenses and savings goals together. Make it a friendly competition to see who can save the most each month or who can stick closest to the budget.
Budgeting Game Night: Turn budgeting into a game where you allocate virtual money to different categories (rent, groceries, entertainment) based on your actual budget. See who can come closest to the real budget without going over.
DIY Financial Projects: Take on DIY financial projects together, like creating a vision board for your financial goals or making a colorful savings tracker chart for a specific goal. It can be a creative way to visualize your progress and stay motivated.
Celebrate Financial Milestones: Celebrate reaching financial milestones together, whether it's paying off a credit card, reaching a savings goal, or successfully sticking to a budget for several months in a row. Treat yourselves to a small celebration or a fun activity as a reward. Seriously people, when we don’t take time to celebrate, we don’t reflect on the progress we’ve made, and it will go out with a whisper, not a bang.
Learn Together: Attend financial workshops or seminars as a couple to learn new money management skills. It can be a bonding experience and an opportunity to grow together in your financial knowledge.
Support Each Other: Encourage and support each other's financial goals and efforts. Celebrate small wins and provide positive reinforcement to stay motivated on your financial journey together.
Managing money as a couple doesn't have to be stressful or boring. By infusing a sense of fun, collaboration, and shared goals into your financial discussions and activities, you can strengthen your relationship while building a solid financial foundation for your future.